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my rock bottom has a basement

by meek bears

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1.
Don’t thank me for setting this up, a face to face meeting ten years in the making to finally express my feelings on our cohabitation, the promises we’ve made when we’re drunk, through reading and writing, to finally stand up for myself. Because I’m already dead, yeah you just haven’t caught up yet, yeah you just haven’t caught on. So don’t thank me, don’t thank me, you just haven’t caught on. This is killing me, I can’t think of what to say to make it out and loud in my ears from every side I hear “failure, failure, failure”, as the cacophony surrounds me, I’ll break the silence with a bang. I tried, I tried. Oh god, oh god - please don’t let this die. Oh god, oh god, my god - please don’t let this die.
2.
Refurbished 03:46
There’s a ringing in my ear and a nightmare in my head. You said I’d never amount to anything. I’ve been struggling with how to express this, held in my chest like a weakness. This is my attempt at catharsis. This is my attempt at catharsis. There’s a ringing in my ear as you head through the door. I will take all the fault, something borrowed best left ignored. Maybe I’m just a coward, hope you’ll find another way out. Maybe this is just poetic, maybe I’m just pathetic. There’s a ringing in my ear and a nightmare in my head. You said I’d never amount to anything. I’ve been struggling with how to express this, held in my chest like a weakness. This is my attempt at catharsis. This is my attempt at catharsis. And I don't even think I remember every little thing that you said, I just know that you've been forgiven and I just hope I haven't forgotten. Every single thing that you said, every little thing that you've meant. I just know that you’ve been forgiven, I just hope I haven’t forgotten There’s a ringing in my ear And I don't even think I remember every little thing that you said, I just know that you've been forgiven and I just hope I haven't forgotten every single thing that you said, every little thing that you've meant. I just know that you’ve been forgiven, and I just hope you haven’t forgotten me.
3.
I saw you leave through the good white fan in the living room for some cigarettes. I saw you leave through the good white fan in the living room cigarettes on your hips. I saw you leave through the good white fan in the living room for some cigarettes on hips. I saw you leave through the good white fan in the living room cigarettes on your lips. And that’s the day you left your family behind, your son and loving wife, with child unborn.
4.
Content 01:32
Time took its toll on us, maybe someday I’ll grow some sort of spine and confront all my issues and even confront you, the pieces will all fall in place. All fall in place. All fall in place. I can’t keep fighting with you or myself over nothing. Every day I’m asked if I’m okay and I’m forced to give the same lie “Yes I’m fine. Yes I’m fine. Yes I’m fine.” But nothing’s ever right anymore “Yes I’m fine. Yes I’m fine, but no” But nothing’s ever right anymore.
5.
Grab my hand I’m going under The last thing you said to me made me shutter Gasping for air, I’m really struggling here Then everything goes dark, and I slip under, I won’t recover And I slip under, I can’t recover, I can’t come up The ebb and flow of tide knocked me out, dragged me down. Today I’m twenty-four years older than I ever thought I’d be and I will drown. You pulled me under Under the covers You pulled me under Like your lover Why won’t you say it right; your extended vocal chords are screaming at the ceiling calling to names I don’t believe in or answer to, and I know this isn’t quite right. But I’m in the same position, I made a resolution - to stay alive, and go on all night. It’s the same old song, telling the same old story - of a messy dance. And I know this is pity sex and I know this is pity sex, I don’t have to hedge my bets. It was the 31st of July when I first saw your deep blue eyes and the current dragged me in. And I know this is pity sex and I know this is pity sex and I know this is pity, yeah it has to be pity when You pulled me under Under the covers You pulled me under Like your lover Like your lover Like your lover I’ll never recover

credits

released June 20, 2017

meek bears is:
Tom Caddigan
Spencer Dionne
Tom Lakiszak

Recorded at PigCat Studio in Portland, ME

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